Breech of Confidence

My ancient and traditional anthropological studies have led me to, among other things minimalist, the use of the breechclout, or "loincloth". It's an article of clothing used by ancient and indigenous people throughout the world. Even Otzi the Iceman wore it.  In respect to the Native American cultures of which I can claim a scant 1/16 genetic heritage, I try to limit its use to Paleo LARP, or just plain hanging out in the woods. To decorate it as Native American or otherwise emulate this culture would be disrespectful.

When I mention or describe the breechclout I get mostly negative reactions, and largely from women. I've found this to be somewhat perplexing. The kilt in contrast seems to attract women like a magnet, and many of them can't resist to ask what's beneath, or outright "cop a feel." But most women have preemptively told me to refrain from wearing the breechclout.

Recently I put the breechclout on whilst lounging around the house on a particularly sweltering evening. My significant other immediately went into ridiculing mode. "It's silly!"  "Vulgar - you can see your thighs and part of your butt-cheeks!" "You might as well be naked!" And so on.  I chose to smile and let it pass. Then a strange thing happened: First, she fiddled with the belt-string, then the back flap. Soon she was asking how it felt. And finally, she copped that proverbial feel. Before much longer we were discussing a photo-shoot with breechclout, toussled hair and primitive tools.

I believe the breechclout is a lost fashion whose time has come again. Perhaps "butt-cheeks" will become as popular as Scotsmen "going commando." What's under the front flap? Ask if you dare!