Portrait: The Boulder Man with No Name

Courtesy of Anonymous Aquarius Bill, STP Family Forum

Paw Paws In Season - SPOILER!

Missouri paw paws are again in season.  I feasted on them this weekend.  They are small-ish so far, but very sweet.  Orchard farmers have been telling me that the drought has resulted in smaller yet sweeter domestic fruit.  It seems to be that way for the wild paw paws.

Here's the spoiler:  Paw paws can be had in St. Louis county in abundance, at Castlewood State Park.  You'll need to hike the trails along the river and locate the stands of paw paw trees.  Another great place to collect is at Aker's Ferry on the Current River.  The trees in this area are laden with fruit and ready for the picking!

So, now you're going to have a nice basket of fruit - if you're ready to hit the forests and bottom-lands.

Kentucky State University posted this nice recipe for paw paw pie:

3/4 c. sugar
2 Tbsp. flour or cornstarch
2 eggs (reserve whites for meringue)
2 c. milk
1 c. pawpaw pulp

Combine sugar and flour. Add egg yolks and milk. When well mixed add pawpaw pulp. Cook until thick and pour into baked pie crust. Cover with meringue and brown in moderate oven.

Magic Mountain Music

I will be literally heading for the mountains this July. I have the distinct pleasure of performing with the Jah Kings, [ Jah Kings Music ] an outstanding reggae/world/jazz/funk group. Alexander Kofi is a brilliant songwriter and superb singer/musician. I'll be performing:

• Meadow Muffins - Colorado Springs CO - July 19
• Coyote Moon - Pagosa Springs CO - July 20
• KTAOS Solar Center - Taos NM - July 21

I look forward to this tour, and hope there may be some folks in the area who might want to attend. If there are any STP family survivors in the area, I would love to meet you and share stories. Regardless, the shows will be fantastic, and I hope to linger in the Taos area for a few days.

MO Skeeters Mutated by Climate Change

I went down to the Steinberg Memorial Prairie last nite to commune with my deer buddies. The park service burned the prairie last fall and the blackberries are coming in like gang-busters. So we will have lovely blackberry cobblers this summer!

But the mosquitoes down there clouded me. And they are BIG! These new global warming induced critters are as big as birds and faster than a speeding bullet. I was down a pint of blood before I could even say "ouch!" They don't seem to be deterred by 100% DEET so there's not much hope of repelling them with some wussy peppermint/tea tree oil "natural" concoctions.

The only thing to do is harvest them. I'm working on a device that is a gel-filled sleeve to be worn on the arms, containing the scent of human blood. When the giant skeeters stick their snout in the gel, it will firm up and keep them from flying away. And that means dinnertime!

GIANT MISSOURI MOSQUITO FRITTERS

Ingredients:

• Three medium-sized Giant Missouri Mutant Mosquitoes (approx. 8oz apiece)
• Flour
• Salt
• Pepper
• Rosemary
• Canola Oil

Preparation:
Field-dress the mosquitoes, removing the beaks and wings. Sprinkle salt, pepper and rosemary in the body cavity and close with poultry trusses. Dredge the insects in flour. Bring canola oil to full heat just short of smoking. Fry the mosquitoes for approximately 5 minutes per side. Serve with sweet potato french fries and field greens. Serves 3.

Disturbing News from the Missouri Wilderness

I just spent the last weekend in March deep in the Mark Twain National Forest, nestled on the banks of the upper Courtois Creek. I became depressed as I observed the radically incorrect climate. Year after year I've spent many hours in the deep woods in all seasons and the relentless climate warming has continued to accelerate.

On the first evening, I was amazed to see that the fireflies have come out in droves. I don't recall fireflies before late May - until this year. June beetles are out as well, and as their name suggests they are considerably early. The mosquitoes were swarming in clouds, not like in Missouri but like Canada or Alaska where a swarm of mosquitoes can drain a man in minutes. And the seed ticks are so thick they're immune to DEET.

Two days of foraging for mushrooms and other wild things led nowhere. Not a single morel was to be found. The soil is moist, but the leaf mast is dry as a bone and crunchy underfoot. The daytime temperature was 88F and it barely dropped below 80F during the evenings. Again, March 31 in Missouri. Wrong as a three headed billy-goat.

The only bright spot to my journey was the quality of water in the Courtois Creek. The river is abundant and teeming with crayfish, darters, snails, minnows, and all sorts of fish. An otter surfaced during the day when I was setting up camp. His family continued to show themselves for days as if they graciously allowed me to share their corner of the world. But this will be scant consolation when the atmosphere boils off the surface of the planet and the Courtois goes bone dry.

But at least America had a good run plundering the natural resources, living comfortably at the expense of every other living creature and modifying the environment to suit her greedy children. And now the atmosphere has been ruined.

Just fucking ruined.