Shortly after dawn I headed into the LaBarqe Creek Conservation Area. This three-mile trail loop has yielded white summer mushrooms in the past, and my expectations were high. I tuned my eyeballs to see white blazes through the sweat, gnats and endorphin haze. I hadn't walked a hundred yards before finding a small, dainty white coral mushroom sprouting from the side of a dead log. Eureka! "It's going to be a good shroom hunt" I told myself.
As I headed deeper into the area I kept seeing white blazes on the ground. But excitement and anticipation soon turned to disgust. Each white blaze was a clump of toilet paper thrown directly on the ground. These were not "#2" field latrines, mind you, just pee spots. Not a single turd was found. No effort was made to bury or disguise the refuse. In most cases these bathroom breaks were within 5 feet of the trail. Only occasionally did I find a spot over 20 feet from the trail. For the next hour the scenario repeated itself, dozens of times over.
Pardon me if I jump to conclusions. These are female human field latrines. Males rarely if ever use toilet paper to clean up after urination. My disgust turned to outrage quite easily when I considered that most females who might be inclined to explore a high quality area such as LaBarque should be a cut above the rest. At least, they should be environmentally mindful enough not to litter. No, this was the handiwork of slobs. I even saw several "patches" of pee paper where it was obvious the spot was a multiple-use "pee party." Again, jumping to sexist conclusions, I never see fellas going off to the bathroom together.
My preconceptions of nature-wise and resourceful outdoor ladies frequenting this area with reverence and respect crumbled before my prefrontal cortex. These weren't ladies at all.
Slobs piss on the trail. Slobs litter. Slobs pretend to commune with nature. Is it really that difficult to get off the trail a bit, and scoop a little leaf mast over the toilet paper or better yet put it in a baggie and cart it out?
